Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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