I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
