so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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