Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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