I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
