Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
