Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
