Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
