I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
