Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
be right there i have to get my cape
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
