Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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