i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
