Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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