mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
