Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
4 words: hood of his car
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
