please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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