Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
