Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
