well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
