why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
