she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
