Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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