I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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