there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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