just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
