Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
