Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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