You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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