Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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