the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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