Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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