So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
