you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
