Her vagina should come with caution tape.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
