Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wish you could order shots online.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
