Tell her she can't have a vagina
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
