i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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