I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize