Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
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My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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