Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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