My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize