Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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