i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
