Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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