He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
