My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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