how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
