Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
