Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
