so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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