Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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