just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
