did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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