i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
