I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i think my cat just said my name.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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