Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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